I have a question for anyone reading this blog that has a child from Uganda- what is the process of going about actually adopting them? Is there a specific waiting time that immigration requires or do you just follow the adoption laws of your state? I tried calling immigration but could never speak to a real person no matter how many prompts I followed. Love those automated phone systems :)
Everything at home is good but hard. Both girls have had some adjustment issues. They are equally jealous of eachother. Not sure if that's good but balanced at least. Kaya who is 3 is much more clingy now and wants Mom to do everything for her. Masseh sees this and then wants me even more. Not very much fun for dad or mom either for that matter. Both girls have very strong personalities. Masseh's first English words other than mom and dad were "no, mine and get". Usually no is followed by yelling Kaya's name at the top of her lungs. On the positive side though, they both really seem to like eachother and are very sweet to one another as long as the other one doesn't have a toy they want. They love to hug and kiss eachother and always want to know where the other one is at. I think as Masseh's knee heals they will have even more fun together. I think a lot of Masseh's frustration stems from not being as mobile as she would like. She still isn't able to walk. Her surgeon had hoped she would be by this point. We go back next week for a check-up. She is standing though and can limp along if you are holding her hand or if she is standing next to something. We did find out that she tested negative for all blood diseases so it looks like her anemia was from her illnesses. Her levels have been fine since her 2nd blood transfusion. She will be retested in a few months. Health wise she actually would have been fine if she hadn't contracted malaria. Malaria and the treatment weaken your immune system making you more susceptible to secondary infections. It turns out she had typhoid fever that was a salmonella bacteria that went to her blood stream and settled in her knee. We are very lucky that she survived.
Also, to any other Uganda moms, do your children have problems taking naps.? Masseh didn't take regular naps in Uganda and now will only sleep for 20-30 minutes a day. That is not enough for a 1 year old or her mom :) She also hates to not have someone in the room with her when she is falls asleep. She now sleeps fairly well at night which is a huge blessing. So overall things are going well just getting use to one more adorable little girl!
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Uganda Mom here :) Oh do I understand the jealousy between sisters. I promise you are not alone in that one. As far as naps, that is crazy here too. Our daughter still needs one, but gets very upset that no one else is having to lay down. Then there is bedtime, at the home they all went to bed at the same time. We have kids from 13 to 3, so a same time bed time is not going to happen. My Ugandan babies think this is absolutely WRONG! How do you explain to a 4 and 3 year old, in a language they don't really get, younger kids have earlier bedtimes???
As far as the adoption goes, you have to abide by the rules in your state. Contact your social worker and she will tell you what is required. For instance in Texas, if we had not finalized by the three month mark it would require a visit by our social worker every 90 days until we finalized. (at $500 a pop this was not an option for us) We also have to fill out a form on how they are doing monthly as well as a form from the doctor when they go. It is a very simple process, only a formality in you local court system. You can hire a lawyer, but I know families that handle the paperwork themselves. Uganda does not have a "wait" time before you can adopt like some other countries do. You just need to supply a copy of your homestudy and the court papers you received while in Uganda. Once that is finished you can get a social security card (or change the name if you already got one). You will also have to file ANOTHER form with USCIS to the tune of $420 to get them to recognize her as a citizen. Yes, I know how maddening that is. If you want to email me I will give you the info to the family that does their finalizations on their own (they have adopted 5 kids 2 from Uganda)Also, there should be a Yahoo group for international adoption for what ever state you are in. If you need help finding it let me know and I will see if I can find it. They are an invaluable source of information about adoption laws in your state, and will be able to tell what lawyer is the best and cheapest to get the job done. Not to mention they also will give support and advice, they hav been there or a getting ready to go down the adoption road. Good to hear the update, and glad your little one is feeling better.
Blessings
Melissa
burpeefamily@yahoo.com
Glad things are going well. Good luck with the girlies! We have all the same problems with our three boys: fighting over toys, wanting me to stay in the room til they go to sleep, etc. Hang in there!
Hello! D and J gave me your name as people to talk to about your experience in Uganda. If you would be willing to talk to us, please e-mail us at gaunts@telus.net .
Blessings,
Keltie and Blake
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